Sunday, March 16, 2008

An Affair to Remember: Enigmatic End - Part IV

It is said that relationships are based on some very basic virtues like honesty, trust, faith etc. There is probably a level of trust which we all have for different set of people, parents/siblings, friends, colleagues and an individual typically does not (should not) be entirely honest even within his most innermost "Circle Of Trust". And that is exactly when I faltered, I tried to be too brutally honest with S.C. at a time when I could have actually summed up the courage maybe some months/years down the line. My 'sail with it, or sink wink it' approach only took me down the drain.

We were having coffee/evening snacks when we decided to delve into the past of either of us. I found it hard to believe that no1 had ever asked her out or remotely not of thought of spending his entire life with her. She probably was very honest but then she could have not been entirely convinced that we had reached an "official" relationship level for which she was bound to answer certain questions. I failed to gauge this and decided to open out more than I should have. This was actually very much against the precept that my very dear/near friends had warned me against.

We were so close to being awarded a prize on Dec 10th at Royal Albert Hall for Chemistry for 2007. Just then, some reaction occured out of a sudden and there in sublimated any chances of a miracle.

I confessed, of having written 2 emails and also receiving near identical replies on my "proposals". And that proved to be the final walk of my eventful odyssey.

She was a very sensible girl who would not have taken this decision solely based upon my one guffaw. She would have probably (actually definitely) jotted the points along the graph when I had messed up. She was too systematic/statistical not to have not noticed the multiple inflexion points that I may surely have traced. I am pretty convinced she decided to take the final call only after all the possible indices of rational behavior were so badly distorted that it left her no other option. It finally wreaked havoc on the one aspect she (and most females) was looking forward to (stability) which I lacked to provide.
We met a couple of times but that was just to bring the happenings of the last 8 months (including email exchanges) to a closure.

The abrupt ending of a till-now-smooth matter from a pragmatic, sensible person may seem like a contradiction. However, Contradictions do not exist. If there is a contradiction, one of the premise must be wrong

I learned my lesson the very hard way and I am still convinced that I did not deserve this. However who am I to judge the decision of someone when I am the so-called accused/guilty party ? (Criminal's Side of the Court).
Two very important lessons: Do not give any unwanted, unheralded information unless asked for. Even if asked for, do not still give it up, lest it jeopardize the goodwill that has already been establish. Always trust your friends (whom you trust), especially when 6 (including their spouses) have advised you against some idiotic principles you might be (unnecessarily) carrying as unwanted baggage.
(The first and foremost Basic Axiom : You can never truly understand what goes on in the minds of XX)

Though this affair did not leave anyone with shrivelled legs nor did it physically handicap someone, it did have a crippling effect on my conscience/soul for a while. However with the friends that I have getting over and moving on was never difficult.

I know it and so do most of you understand/know, that I am not a person who went into the relationship for the heck of it. If I was looking for a fling and did not care really too much for the consequences, I would have just shrugged it off and chuckled "Who is John Galt" !!



Blogger cooltoli said...

Well written.... and even if it is fiction as you claim it is ... im very very certain that a "S.C" exists....:-)

5:27 AM  
Blogger Vyaktigat_Manogat_Swagat said...

Thanks for the comment.., but it would have been good to leave ur name ., or maybe enabled ur profile.. :)

3:15 AM  

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