Sunday, February 04, 2007

My "Beauty" Escapade

A few days back on one of my blog I had mentioned about having a Root-Canal and how painful the procedure was and that the next worst would be a Kidney-Stone. One of my Girl-Friends (friend who is a girl) said that I take it one step at a time and that I should try Threading/Waxing. I promptly called my dentist and .... he probably passed out or shut shop or maybe has shut shop all-together. I called my friend again and told her about it. She too nearly died laughing. I later understood that this was not a dental procedure but instead a procedure carried out in a Parlour or a Salon (for newcomers its Salon and Not Saloon) as I had understood. I also ensured that I took appropriate permission from head-quarters (read Mother). I was even more surprised when she said that it was a good thing to get rid of my Uni-Brow which made me look like "KroorSingh" from ChandraKanta YUCKKOOOO

Ok so there I was standing inside one of the Men's Salon on Bhandarkar Road. This was one heck of a place, huge room with 4 very comfortable chairs in four corners with amazing arm/head rests and all (This was the only comfort I received there).There was one Goldilocks with his Rapunzelesque hair drenched in a tub and a man was combing through the same, another one had some kind of cream applied, I called him the Creamy Layer ;) (all in my mind). All in all it was a sight to behold. I was about to receive the wildest jolt of my life in a few minutes and I did not have the slightest of ideas. Normally when I go to the Saloon (this one is the Regular Ghaati Types) I generally close my eyes and chat with Mahesh (the owner) about the happenings in our colony and in general, till its time to leave. I did the same here and the person (different Mahesh) asked if he could proceed and he did when I gave him the green light.

I felt something close to my eye-brow and then Holy-Smoly-&*&^%^& .. what the *&^&^ on earth was that.. I opened my eyes to see a man hovering around me with a Thread inter-twined in his teeth, hands and probably some place else. I am a person who can bear pain, physical and mental both.. but just by mere Reflex-Action a tear-drop did come out. Through the mirror I was staring and glaring at him but he was practically unmoved as if he had not committed any blunder. I stared back at the mirror to look at myself and that was the weirdest I have ever looked. It was obvious that the procedure could not be reverted nor could it have ended there. The next few moments of my life were.. I was miserable and must have cursed the man (with the thread), who was on an all out mission to ruin my weekend, and his past 15 generations.

I must have also shed around 5ml of Tears in the whole process !! People say "No Gain, Without Pain", which I feel is nothing but Bull-$#!&, I did not gain a whisker (rather lost some similar ones) and Pain.., yup.., that I Gained a lottt, too much for anyones comfort.

I asked what Waxing would be like and what the procedure would do to me. To sum up his words in one line "Waxing: Process that would Transform me from being a Anil Kapoor to being a Salman Khan" !! I almost bolted out of the door, "Thats It", I said, "Pack-Up". I was/am tooo damn scared to even think what the heck that Waxing stuff ought to be and made my way out. I was only too happy to see my first (and perhaps only) tryst with Parlourhood (if thats a word) end. An ordeal that tried to convert me to a metrosexual ended midway and I heaved a great sigh of relief.

I had doled out a 3 digit sum for one of the ghastliest cruelest procedure a human can carry out on himself. The next week my eyes and the space between them twitched and itched like anything, cold cream, talc didn't help. And yes, if you have cold, ensure than Amrutanjan does not creep from your nose upward. Coz that too is ^&*^*&^-*&^&*^*

My respect for the Fairer-Sex has increased atleast ten-fold

4 Comments:

Blogger Matter Mahadevan said...

good you did not go for brazilian waxing :)

4:04 AM  
Anonymous Noor said...

Too Good Sallu!!!
Your blog had me laughing so hard, the other guys in this netcafe were wondering whats wrong with :D !!!
Keep up the good job :)!

3:46 AM  
Blogger Sukanti Mulay said...

haha!! well written!! now u see how much of pain we gals go thru!

9:28 AM  
Blogger Mukta A said...

jamlay tula!! :))

6:06 AM  

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